Apa Guna Ada Perut?

PERUT - Itulah dia satu organ yang sungguh banyak jasanya pada sekalian manusia kan? Thanks Allah SWT for the perut a.k.a stomach. Meh kita tgk apa gunanya perut apa yang kita boleh buat perut :

1. Apa yang kita makan, semua masuk dalam perut.

2. Bila lapar pegang perut.

3. Bila kenyang pegang perut.

4. Bila sakit perut, dah tentu pegang perut.

5. Tangan bila tak tahu nak letak mana, boleh letak atas perut (terutamanya utk lelaki yang berperut "mancung")- leh jadi arm rest kekdahnya!

6. Bila ngandung, mesti suka sebab ada baby dalam perut.

7. Bila happy, sedih, mual, nak muntah masa ngandung, mesti usap2 perut

8. Bila baby tendang-tendang, kita pun suka dan pegang2 perut

9. Bila perut dah besar giler, dah gatal kulit tuh, mesti garuk-garuk perut

10. Yang apaknya pulak, bila nampak baby tendang perut, excited sama nak pegang Mummy punya perut.

11. Tiba masa bersalin Mummy sakit perut

12. Tiba masa bini nak bersalin, Daddy pulak kecut perut

13. Silap2 masa bini meneran, Daddy kat toilet sebab sakit perut!

14. Bila anak dah keluar, Mummy letak atas perut

15. Bila Daddy nak adjust tgn masa dukung baby, mesti duduk dan standby perut.(wkakaka..takut anak tergolek kalau salah pegang...)

16. Dalam pantang, Mummy sibuk nak berurut & kecutkan perut

17. Dalam pantang, Daddy terpaksa "ikat perut". Waakakakaka!

18. Bila dah lenguh dukung baby, baik Mummy atau Daddy landingkan anak atas perut.

19. Bila lepas mandikan anak, mesti sapu minyak telon dan losyen kat perut

20. Bila gurau-gurau ngan anak, mesti nak geletek perut.

21. Bila anak kembung, plak, bagi minum air colic dan usap2 minyak kat perut

22. Entah-entah korang sekarang tgh gelak2 sambil pegang perut! Hhahaa..

23. Dan yang terakhir dan paling besttt.. bila anak dah agak2 pandai atau memandai-mandai... ni lah dia akan buat!!!!!

TEKAN LAPPY PAKAI PERUT!

Adoi! Rosaklah Lappy aku tak lama lagi!

*feel free to contact me, Watie @ 016-2033340 for appointment & consultation on early education*

Perut OH Perut!

Zayra! Zayra! Zayra!

Ni antara video lawak yang sempat aku rakamkan pada hari yg sama Q baca Jawi tuh. Sebenarnya aku rakam video tuh utk Zayra tau.. aku nak main flash card ngan Zayra, nak suruh si Zayra ni datang merangkak kat aku bila aku tunjuk flash card tu.

Tapi..ini diva dah enterframe dulu ... sibuk na dia mengadap aku. Siap buat suara tak puas hati lagi tuh bila aku rakam masa awal2 video nih.. Yang lawak tuh, bila aku kata tuh utk adik, kakak dah pandai dah .. then aku suruh dia panggil adik, dia terus duk sebut Zayra! Zayra! Zayra dengan pelatnya! Memang lawak dan aku akan tersenyum sambil tergelak setiap kali aku tgk video nih. Kemain pandai lagi duk sebut nama adik tak berhenti2. Sepanjang2 aku rakam video nih, asyik duk sibuk ngan Zayyaaaa...Zayyyaaaa dia tuh.. Dah lah pelat .. yokoyo jer si kenit nih tau. Ala-ala kakak poyo kan .. :)

Apa yang aku suruh buat, mesti dia sambut dengan Zayyyyaaa...Zayyaaaa... aku tak cakap apa pun dia tetap dgn Zayyyyyaaa,,,Zayyyyaaaa... Pastu tetiba jer ..Daddy ... then nampak plak jigsaw punya word, terus sebut jigsaw plak... pastu Zayyyaaa balik .. hahaha...

Qarissa, Qarissa, memang kamu nih suka menceriakan hari-hari Mummy lah sayang oi...:)

Kakak Zayyyaaa yg nak enterprame sokmo!

Zayyaaa..Zayyyaaa!

Untuk Suami Yang Tak Reti Bersyukur ..!

Wakakaka....tuh lah nyer ..man is still a man ...hambek koo...!

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A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being lovingto each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband!" the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember - fairies are female.

Lawak hari minggu,

Lawak: Why Man Shouldn't Write Advice Column!

Wakaakakak... hubby aku bg this lawak to me! It makes me laugh like nobody's business! Hahhaha.. Kalau aku jadi pompuan tuh, mau aku pelangkung kepala writer tuh! Buang masa aku jer cerita masalah & bukak pekung kat dada....hahahaha.. Lama dah tak post lawak kat blog nih, sesekali layan best gak kan! Wakakakak...

Kalau dah "jantan"......,

Masa Untuk Bergelak Ketawa!

Dah lama juga rasanya aku tak pos kan bahan jenaka dalam blog ni. Hheheh.. Bz ngan anak & Gymsery (gymsery lah sangat ..ahaks!), tak sempat aku nak carik jokes2 yang boleh membuatkan kawan-kawan blog aku tersengih-sengih macam kerang busuk depan PC nih... hehehe.

Thanks to my luvly hubby yg htr jokes @ my emel & buatkan aku tersenyum (ada yg tergelak juga..) depan PC nih.. So i just want to share the smile with uols..Maybe dah ada yg pernah tgk this "original signboard jokes", tapi gelak gak lah yer..buat2 cam korang tak pernah tgk @ baca tau!! Hahaha...

Akhir kata dari mak sebelum mengakhiri posting ni - SENYUM ITU SEDEKAH. MAKA, SIAPA YANG MINTAK KITA SENYUM ITU - PEMINTA SEDEKAH!! Hahahhhaa. (mesti terasa mana-mana mamat yang time nak menackle awek tu, duk suruh aweks- senyumlah sikit ..senyumlah sikit cik adik) ...errkkk...mintak sedekah ker bang? Ahaks!

Aku memang suka senyum sorang-sorang!,

Super Singer On Board!!

Oh Guys, I really can't wait to show u all this video.. It really make my day. Hahaha..

To My Dear Darling Qarissa, make sure when u grow up, ur accents will be "A Lot Better" than this Darling...

To all of my online friends..now I present you - Super Singer On Board with her Song Tittle - "Ken Lee....."  (clap clap clap.....)

Aliff Tendang Wau= SARKIS!

I surf the web today & found interesting info. Betul punya sindir... yet i don't realize it until today. Selama nih dengar all the lawak's... I gelak jer. Me & My UTM Friends (Sal & Kea) memang giler P. Ramlee... . He's brighthening up my day.. Al Fatihah to him & semoga dicucuri rahmat. Aminn...

Anyway, it's up to ur judgement..Everybody have the right to say what eva thay want to say, anyway, it's what u called "democracy..."

"Demokrasi apa??"
"DEMOKRASI TERPIMPIN!"
"Terpimpin kepala hotak ko...!"

(hahaha, see. i told u all i still can remember the dialogue...!")

Just For Fun,

Morning Smile..:)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage (errkk...is it??)
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. (hehehhe...ya rite!)
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. (ya ka..? ya lah ..i want baby maaa..!)
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. (hahahha...this is a good one !)
_____________________________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next.." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. (hahahha, lucky i married dy...but its a gud idea to those who're not married yet!!)


Hope I Bring Smile To Your Face,

50 Years B'day Present

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.'

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.

She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.

He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says: 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says..

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'Well, I was behind you at McDonalds .'

Comment :"Hehehe, lain kali jangan excited sangat..."

Smile Always,

Extreme Baby Rompers

Comment: " I Wish Qarissa can wear this!"

Sure Will Buy,

Open Question About Pregnant

Comment: "Erkk...no comment"